My View on White Privilege & Obtaining Honorary Whiteness

Peggy McIntosh wrote an article on white privilege outlining everyday situations we as people encounter. I feel some of her list of daily effects of white privilege is some what outdated for today's society and that things have changed since this was first written. Number 37 on her list of daily effects states " I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally."I feel this doesn't apply anymore, well through my life experiences. At the high school I attended it was very culturally diverse. There was a support worker for every race that attended our school so students could feel comfortable having someone of the same ethic background help guide them in all aspects of life. Kind of funny that race plays such a big part that we have to take the time to think about situations like this.

I actually don't feel privilege in being white, or am I just carrying this invisible knapsack as well? Since I read this article I am really struggling with my racial identity. I have grown up in a black community most of my life and feel like I'm trying obtain honorary whiteness even though I am racially visible as white. For example, if someone asks me my full address, I feel like they are judging me based on the community I live in. It makes me uncomfortable every time as if I'm not living up to "white standards" because of the community I live in. I feel this idea of white privilege portrays whites to have no struggle, when I feel I struggle daily just like a minority would. Maybe I'm taking this idea of white privilege too literal? I wasn't made aware of this invisible knapsack until recently and I'm having a hard time accepting it. There is a film called Race is a Four Letter Word by Sobaz Benjamin, it talks about his struggle with being black and trying to obtain this honorary whiteness. There is a gentleman in the film who was brought up by a black family in Toronto and he feels culturally and psychologically black. The struggles he was dealing with I really related to because I feel like that is my life on a daily basis. It's comforting to know I'm not the only person dealing with these racial identity struggles. I feel the more I learn about white privilege or what it means to be white, the more frustrated I'll get but this is a learning curve for me. A different way of thinking about being white and acceptance of that is near in my future.